ColossalCon 2010 Live Blog – Otaku Dating 101, Lol (but no seriously)

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  • Well here I am at the one and only Colossalcon panel to dedicated to helping Otakus “achieving success in romantic interactions”, wow host made that sound awkward. Well whatever, a friend of the blog is doing this so I will just have to suck it up and do what I can here. I am trying to keep a straight face while doing this, not because the advice is bad but because I know this will be hilariously awkward. I will put the advice and discussion mostly in my own words here, its probably a way that I can best get the point across to everyone. So understand that this is mostly a paraphrase or my take on what is being discussed.
  • Step one in having success in Romance and Dating is confidence! Expecting oneself to be taken seriously when it is evident that you don’t respect yourself is simply the short road to disaster and disappointment. Ask yourself some harsh questions, are you comfortable with yourself? Do you respect yourself? Are you confident in at least SOME of your abilities? Well if you do you will eventually be able to be confident in romantic situations. It will take some practice and some embarrassment but it is a necessary step on the path to success.
  • A confidence handout is being passed out, it gives some useful tips to breaking the ice in potentially awkward or difficult social situations. Always greet the person you are approaching with a smile and warmth. Offer innocent but genuine compliments. Acting like a jerk is never going to bring you more that some momentary cool points and no lasting and fulfilling entanglements. If you aren’t accepted or treated in kind do not take this as a judgment on you if you have approached them with kindness, it says much more about the other party!
  • Please do not get caught playing the “he/she is out of my league game”. There is no such thing. Rejection and acceptance happens to everybody, you are not going to die if you are brushed off. If you aren’t acting like a creep or a stalker you can always hold your head high and know that you deserve something better.
  • Conversation and interaction is the fastest path to success in romance. The seeds of love can never germinate if you don’t spend time getting to know the other part. Brooding or playing the shy game is never going to lead anywhere. If you care enough about something, go out and try to get it.
  • Man so many posers in here. I think this is awkward too but seriously stop playing some of you pretenders. “I don’t need this, I’m not THAT awkward”. I am not judging you because your at the con, so am I, I am judging you because I can tell you are hilariously socially inept and are trying to play it off instead of taking some decent advice. Get you butts back in the seats and stop leaving you need this alot more than the rest of us!
  • Saying hello is the only way to create a new social opportunity for yourself, do not let it slip away and regret later. However don’t set quotas for yourself. Follow your conscience and heart.
  • More pretender leavers booo! I didn’t like your Miku cosplay anyway, no one can looks as good in that outfit as my princess!
  • Ahh more good advice, do not use the above tips on someone if they have a restraining order against you! Hahahaha…
  • Don’t be a creeper! Be honest, upfront, and genuine. Know when no means no, it rhymes! Introduce yourself to everyone and don’t waste on relationships that are likely to go nowhere. No following! There is nothing in it for you besides shame and ridicule. Be honest with yourself people and use common sense!
  • @Panel Host: stop trying to define the limits of creeping your making this a little weird and will give people the wrong idea. Everyone knows when its creeping, just be honest with yourself, you should be able to tell if someone wants to talk with you and stalking is NEVER ok.
  • Your not the only one who might be socially awkward in a certain situation. Think about the other person too! There are plenty of shy and confidence lacking individuals you might want to get to know better. Be yourself, be honest, deliberate, warm, and confident. Do not over step you bounds and make sure that people learn quickly that they can trust you and enjoy your company.
  • Money quote: “Do not spend you life sitting in your basement telling yourself “I’m a nice guy, why can’t I find a girl who loves me”, I can already tell you whats wrong!” Life will not put happiness at your doorstep, it must be earned.
  • Relationships will only blossom with time, thus be prepared to invest the time if you are going to go soulmate searching. Do not let fears and anxieties deprive you of a fulfilling life.
  • There are always others who will like the things you do and appreciate you for who you are, the only way you will find these people if you take the time to meet others.
  • If you feel you need friends present to help build you confidence, make use of them! Feeling more confident in the presence of people you know might help give you the boost you need to have success.
  • You can meet people anywhere, work, school, cons, even on the internet. Honestly, confidence, and genuine warmth are the key to success in any setting. Choose settings where you can be yourself. Throwing yourself blindly into random situations might not lead to great success.
  • The panel host says he has had success meeting many girls on the con forums, well there is a tip for all you otaku’s, get active on the boards and it might lead to something great. I can’t say I really vouch for this but if the values I am stressing like honesty and kindness are there a friendship that develops online will smoothly transition to the face-to-face environment.
  • Do not try to script you conversations, sometimes it might be necessary to change the way you write or speak but do this based on experience and actual feedback rather than simply what you think other people want to heard.  Especially on a faceless message board how you type and write represents a large part of who you are, use emoticons liberally, :)!
  • Know that there is no such thing as an idyllic relationships. There are always going to be bumps down any road you travel, always strive for happiness and work hard to overcome the sadness and disappointments will always come from time to time. Life will always bring the unexpected, do not hold on to your illusions and naivete. As I said happiness must always be earned but will always be rewarding whether it lasts fleetingly or for a life time. We are human after all.
  • Lots of discussion of fail convention proposals. Just serves to help dispel the Hollywood stereotype of perfect love. Love will never be perfect and whether is arguments about bills and dishes or Warcraft and cosplay there will always be disagreements. It is the couples who can discus their issues and overcome them that they will be truly successful.
  • Crises are always part of a relationship, overcoming them is one of the first steps to happiness. Compromise is the true foundation of a happy relationship. Both parties must always accept the genuine self of their significant others.

Well now comes the hug exercise. I am going to wrap it up here. Hope you all learned some useful things, don’t know if I did yet but I’ll try to remember what I heard. See you later on today!

Posted on June 5, 2010, in ColossalCon 2010, Conventions and tagged . Bookmark the permalink. Leave a comment.

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