ColossalCon 8 Live Blog – The Kids Aren’t Alright

This panel is presented in an “Academy Award” style in which awards are given for children in anime who have problems.

Getting Back on the Horse Award- Inuyasha [Inuyasha]

– For falling in love with Kikyo, getting shot by her, then falling back in love with her

Mistress of Revenge Award – Lucy [Elfen Lied]

– For killing a lot of people, even if they don’t deserve it

Unwarranted Violence Award – Light [Death Note]

– He is too bored and wreaks havoc on the world in the name of justice.

Galactic Retribution Award – Sailor Saturn [Sailor Moon]

– She starts off as one of the pansy kids, but she becomes possessed by an alien and eventually dies. However, she has a magic glaive which allows her to “reset” and everything goes back to where she is fine again.

Best Group Effort in the Face of Adversity – Gundam Pilots [Gundam Wing]

– Heero is raised by an assassin until he is 8. Quatre’s parents are murdered vicously and come to terms with it by going through the anger phase and the “get a giant machine and blow up a colony” phase – except that they welcomed him back! Trowa Barton has a lack of personality and has no name until he needs to have one. Duo is also an orphan and eventually went to an orphanage but his church got taken over by rebels and he needed to take over a mecha and developed a god complex, calling himself the “God of Death.” Wufei’s childhood started out with a forced marriage in which his feminist wife decided to fight but ended up getting killed. He got his gundam and named it after his dead wife.

Making the Best out of a Bad Situation Award – Henrietta, Angelica, Claes, Triela, and Rico [Gunslinger Girl]

– All the girls have had something horrible happen to them such as car accidents. They were picked out of the hospital and “fixed” them up and then give them to a handler and then they become assassins.

Keeping it in the Family Award – The Sohma Family [Fruits Basket]

-The family is really screwed up including getting abused, shoving people out of windows, blinding people.

Series of Unfortunate Events Award – Edward and Alphonse Elric [Fullmetal Alchemist]

– Everything goes wrong and stuff continues to go wrong. His arm and leg end up on a Homonculus. His mother (a transformed Homonculus) tries to kill them. As soon as they get over one thing something else bad happens and they just keep on getting back up.

Abuse of the space/time Continuum Award – Future or past….whichever Trunks [Dragonball Z]

– Trunks goes back in time and gives Goku heart medicine, but while he’s there Cell shows and then Trunks ends up staying, dying, getting revived, and then went forward in time to fix some more stuff….and then goes back in time…you get the idea.

Ultimate Child Neglect Award – Edward Wong Hau Pepelu Tivrusky IV (or Francois) [Cowboy Bebop]

– She is either doing really well or terrible. We’re not sure if she’s actually happy or if she just snapped. She is a genius and really good with computers.

Dumped for a Video Game Award – Misaki Suzuhara [Angelic Layer]

– She is neglected even though the mom knew about her and was even in the same city. It ends up her mom is the champion at the game and the reason she has not really taken care of her daughter is because she was playing the game.

On the Road…with No Parents Award – Satoshi (Ash Ketchum) – Pokemon

– A 10 year old goes out on his own with Pikachu and goes to fight other Pokemon. Need we say more?

Lifetime Achievement Award – Shinji Ikari [Neon Genesis Evangelion]

– His dad sends for him and has him pilot a mecha to save the world, but too bad Shinji is too scared to do anything and spends hours riding around on the subway while listening to a tape player. He complains about everything. We find at the end that Shinji is really crazy.